fun & finery

Since I started my blog I’ve kept things pretty light here, sharing outfit details so you can join me in my shopping addiction. But this post is going a little deeper…

Earlier this month I was able to attend a Tedx Seattle Women’s conference where I heard speakers, both live and video from the recent TEDWomen conference in November, share their stories and how we can “show-up”.

I went alone. The tickets sold out before anyone else could buy a ticket to join me. I got a few comments of how brave it was to go to an event alone, but I guess with two kids and a busy life I now relish those opportunities to be alone. 😏

Anyway, I felt both humbled and inspired by the stories I heard. Women talking about granting access with their success, believing in themselves despite the odds, experiencing grief, learning to live with Autism…I spent the evening admiring these women for being brilliant, strong, brave. And I also walked away wanting more.

Don’t misread me here, I feel lucky to live the life I do. I have an amazing partner in Ryan, having him in my corner makes me braver and stronger. My two boys light up my world and continue to teach me that my heart can indeed love more. I make a good living working for a great company. But after hearing how these women have challenged assumptions, elevated performance in their fields, overcome challenges that have crippled others, I couldn’t help but want a similar story of my own.

I reflected on the idea that, although intelligent, I’m not leading any groundbreaking developments or solving society’s problems. While a great mom, I could always spend more time teaching at home, playing with the boys, or even just practicing more patience at the end of a long day. If I’m being honest, I want to be extraordinary, damnit.

That night we all wrote out one thing we were going to do differently to show-up. I said I was going to believe in capabilities- cliché, I know. But if you know me well, you already know that I often question my abilities, contribution or worth, so this commitment was relevant.

This introspection continued for several days after the event, as I thought about how I was going to take action on my commitment to show-up. All I’ve come up with so far is this: 1.) I’m going to give myself a bit more grace- perfection isn’t required and I’ll never reach that benchmark anyway, and 2.) Instead of focusing on feelings of imposterism, I’m just going to try to boldly ‘fake-it-til-I-make-it’.

I hope that the Ted talks from the TEDWomen event are released soon, because they’re worth every minute of watching, but until then here’s a link to their website where you can subscribe to receive updates, etc.

“One of the most courageous things you can do is identify yourself, know who you are, what you believe in and where you want to go.” – Sheila Murray Bethel